


There’s HellFire In My Heart

by Erin3709



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Character, Brothers, Disney Movies, F/M, Fluff, Foster Care, Gay Character, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pansexual Character, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erin3709/pseuds/Erin3709
Summary: Basically i have an idea that is very similar to other ones i have read, but i will try to change it a bit. The washingtons foster alex. its alex's last foster home before he has to go to a group home. they have another foster son from france named lafayette. Lafayettes friends John and Hercules are very excited to meet alex. Alex speaks french. Something is between Herc and Laf and everyone but themselves realises it. John is beautiful. Thomas is an ass but not homophobic because he likes mads. Laf is pan and Genderfluid. Alex is Bisexual. John is Gay. Herc is Gay. Thomas is Gay. Mads is Bisexual.If you have any suggestions please comment them or message my instagram @erinl28h. This is my first time ever writing a fic so im sorry if its trash.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, George Washington/Martha Washington, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Comments: 13
Kudos: 31





	1. Not a chapter, you can skip if you want.

okay so basically my plan for this is to write a reasonable sized fic. i’m gonna try and write a fic that I personally would want to read. It’s going to be very basic. very similiar to other ones i have read but i will try to change it up a bit. basically, Alex has been in quite a few foster homes since he was a child. he is 15 now and on his last chance. if this foster home doesn’t work out, he will be sent to a group home. He has been abused in the past, quite badly and so he doesn’t have a lot of trust for anyone but that will change. Martha and George are his new foster parents. they also have another foster son who’s name is Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette. his parents call him Gilbert. his friends call him Laf. Alex speaks french and so that is how laf calms him down. Hercules and John are lafs close friends and they finally get a chance to meet alex. John is beautiful. Something is happening between herc and laf that everyone but themselves realises. It starts with longing glances and occasional touches whenever they can. a lot of pining. Thomas is an ass but not homophobic in this one as he is pining for mads. Laf loves food and disney movies. alex has never seen a disney movie. laf thinks that’s outrageous and sets out to make alex the biggest fan of them all. i don’t really know where this is going to go. i have never written a fic before so please bare with me. also i’m australian so ages and schooling might be confusing, same with some of the language i use. if you have any questions feel free to comment or message me on my instagram @erinl28h . i think that’s it. there may be some innuendos and swearing but it shouldn’t be too bad. as i said, i’m australian, i just can’t help it ig.

•Laf is Pansexual  
•Alex is Bisexual  
•John is Gay  
•Hercules is Gay  
•Thomas is Gay  
•Mads is Bisexual


	2. Gilbert to the rescue.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex arrives at his new foster home and it is not what he expected at all.
> 
> Translations are in the notes at the end. Sorry if the French isn’t perfect, I used google translate

I was currently in the car. The same car I have been in for hours on end. Okay so it probably wasn’t as bad as i’m making it sound but i’m not exactly an optimistic person. Would you expect me to be optimistic when this is my last chance in a foster home before i have to go to a group home. Ugh, I don’t even want to think about that. But if i’m being honest, I should probably prepare myself for the worst. I probably won’t even last a few days here before they realise how fucked up I am and they get rid of me. It’s happened so many times now, it just feels like routine. 

My foster care person, Ross, keeps glancing at me in the mirror of the car. “Can i help you?” I finally speak up. It wasn’t meant to sound that snappy but i’m a little on edge right now.  
“I just- be careful Alexander” I cringe when he says my full name. “I know you haven’t had the best luck in the past but i think this home will be good for you” He says. I’m a bit taken back. I thought he would be annoyed at me.  
“You say that every time though, it always just get worse.” I say sadly. It was true. I had been abused in almost all of my previous ‘homes’ but the last had been the worst. I was praying this one would be better but I didn’t have much hope left.  
“I know, I pulled some strings with this one and i hope it’s better. But just remember, if you act up in this home, you will have to be put into a group home. Now i know that’s the last thing you want but it’s the reality. Just be good, okay?”  
He rambles on.  
“I’ll try my hardest, I promise, but i can’t help it sometimes.” I reply looking down as my hands pick at the bottom of my ratty old jumper.  
“We’re here.” He says turning around in his seat to give me a sad smile. Okay, it’s fine, i can do this. I pick up my backpack and steady myself. 

When i open the door and look up for this first time since arriving, i’m... confused.  
“Are we at the right place?” I ask Ross as i gaze upon a huge house. It has gates and a huge front yard. It looks really high end and i’m suddenly extremely self conscious of how i look.  
“Yes we are, I told you i pulled some strings with this one.” Ross replies. I just nod and keep my head down.  
I jump back when i hear a metallic scraping sound as the gates in front of us open. We start walking toward the door and with every step, i’m becoming more and more afraid. Surely someone who lives here doesn’t want some ratty old nobody like me. Ross knocks on the door and not a minute later it gets opened rather enthusiastically. I lift my head and see a boy around my age. He has darker skin than me and big fluffy hair tied back into a ponytail. The moment his eyes set on us he grins. “Maman, Papa, they have arrived!” He calls out in an unmistakable french accent. Huh, Ross left that bit out. 

About thirty seconds later, Two adults round the corner. The first I see is a tall lady. She has dark brown hair and is dressed very professionally. But the part that calms me down is the expression she is wearing. She is looking straight at me with a soft smile and love in her eyes. It reminds me of my mother and i ease up a little bit.  
That is, until the second adult comes into view. He is taller than the lady but not by much. He has wide shoulders and an air of confidence. I’m no longer at ease the moment i look at him.  
I’ve had experience with men who look like him before and it never ends well.  
I turn my head down to my feet and start fidgeting with my jumper again.  
“Welcome, Ross it’s so good to see you.” The lady suddenly speaks up.  
“Hello Martha, it has been far too long.” Ross replies and I think that may be the nicest i’ve ever heard him, other than in the car that is.  
“Would you like to come in? It must be cold out there.” Martha, apparently, says kindly.  
“I’m afraid I have some business to attend to elsewhere but i will leave Alexander in your hands.” Ross replies and starts heading back to his car after Martha and the Man say goodbye.  
The teenager hasn’t taken his eyes off me yet and i’m getting a bit nervous.  
“Alexander?” I snap out of my thoughts when I hear my name. It’s the boy talking to Martha.  
“His name is Alexander oui? I wouldn’t want to get that wrong.”  
“Yes sweetheart, Alexander is right.” she replies softly, completely different to his loud energetic voice. The man still hasn’t spoken.  
“Alex” I mumble under my breath.  
“Pardon me?” Martha asks, but her voice is filled with curiosity, not malice.  
“I prefer Alex. If that’s okay.” I add hurriedly, not wanting to upset them.  
“Of course dear. Now why don’t you come inside, you look freezing.” Martha offers.  
“Yes ma’am.”

Once we’re inside, I notice that the inside perfectly matches the outside. It is large and elegant. Although, it looks lived in. Like they are an actual family. That thought makes me happy but I squash it down. I cant afford to get attached when I know i’m going to be sent away soon anyway.

“Bonjour mon ami!” I hear as the teenager runs up to me.  
“Hi” I reply meekly.  
“Do you not speak French? I’m sorry I will, how you say, tone it down.”  
“Non, non je parle français!” I reply hurriedly not wanting him to be annoyed at me.  
“Oh oui, maintenant nous pouvons avoir des conversations secrètes.” He giggled.  
I cracked a small smile and he seemed satisfied.  
“Viens avec moi mon ami et je te montrerai ta chambre.” He said excitedly. Do i hiked up my bag on my shoulder and followed him up the stairs. While we were walking, I realised I didn’t even know his name yet!  
“Excusez-moi, mais comment vous appelez-vous?” I asked shyly  
“Oh of course! My name is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Glbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette!” He said proudly and wow, that was a lot to remember. He saw the panicked look on my face and quickly added.  
“Most people just call me Lafayette or Laf. except for maman et papa, they call me Gilbert.”  
Okay, Lafayette, that was easier to remember. 

We had reached the top of the stairs a while ago and had been standing in front of a door.  
“Mon petit lion, here is your bedroom!”  
I walked in and i was amazed. My eyes went straight to the desk on the side wall. I have somewhere to write! This is, if they let me write. My eyes then flickered to the bed. It was a queen bed and it made me a bit queasy to think of the things they would make me do on it.  
That was the system as far as i’m concerned. They do something nice. I have to pay them back and they had been very nice since I got here, I couldn’t help but think of how much i would have to pay them.  
I started getting dizzy and apparently Lafayette notices those things. He held me steady and started leading me to the bed. When i saw where I was going everything started getting muffled. I couldn’t see but I could hear Lafayette saying things like  
“We’re almost there, hold on.”  
as he led me to the bed. I ripped my arm out of his grip and started screaming  
“NO! NO! PLEASE IM SORRY PLEASE NO!” Lafayette stared at me in shock and worry as I fell to the floor. I hugged my knees close to my chest. Breathing heavily and shaking with every sob that ripples through out my body.  
Suddenly Lafayette realised what was going on and he knelt down in front of me, careful not to get too close.  
“Shh mon ami, tout ira bien maintenant. Je suis Lafayette, tu me connais.” she started whispering gently.  
“Je ne sais pas ce qui s’est passé, mais tout ira bien maintenant. Je promets que je vous garderai en sécurité.” He continued softly.  
He kept whispering reassurances to me until i had calmed down a bit.  
“Do you want me to get maman et papa?” He asked kindly.  
“No please don’t. I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.” I whispered.  
“Are you okay mon ami, do you want me to stay or go?” Lafayette asked sweetly.  
“Please go. I’m sorry.” I replied.  
“Dont be sorry mon ami. i will be in the living room if you need me.” As he got up he kissed the top of my head and left, closing the door gently on the way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Bonjour mon ami - Hello my friend.  
> Non,no je parle français - No, no I speak French  
> Oh oui, maintenant nous pouvons avoir des conversations secrètes - Oh yay, now we can have secret conversations.  
> Viens avec moi mon ami et je te montrerai ta chambre - Come with me my friend and i will show you your bed room.  
> Excusez-moi, mais comment vous appelez-vous - Excuse me, but what is your name?  
> Maman et Papa - Mum and Dad  
> Mon Petit lion - My small lion.  
> Shh mon ami, tout ira bien maintenant. Je suis Lafayette, tu me connais - Shh my friend, everything will be fine now. I am Lafayette, you know me.  
> Je ne sais pas ce qui s'est passé, mais tout ira bien maintenant. Je promets de te garder en sécurité - I don't know what happened, but everything will be fine now. I promise I'll keep you safe.


	3. Mon petit lion, tu es si courageux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look, I'm terrible at summaries sooo, sorry?  
> Translation at the end. Also I ended it on a cliffhanger. sorry not sorry.  
> It's kind of a short chapter, sorry.  
> If you have any questions or suggestions, comment them or massage my instagram @erinl28h
> 
> :D

I know I fell asleep on the floor because in the morning, I heard the door softly creak open and Lafayette’s face appeared.   
“Good morning mon ami, how are you feeling?” He asked quietly.  
“I am okay now, thank you for last night.” I say hesitantly because I know, sooner or later I’m going to have to pay him back for it.  
“I will always be here to help. Oh by the way, Breakfast is ready, you must be hungry.”   
“Thank you, I will come straight down.”

I got up off my position on the floor and followed Lafayette down the stairs and to the dining room.  
“Good morning Alex, how did you sleep?” I heard an unfamiliar voice ask. I lifted my head and saw the man, who’s name i still don’t know, looking at me, waiting for an answer.  
“Oh, I slept well sir, thank you.” I said dropping my head again.  
“No need to call me ‘sir’ son, call me George.”  
“I’m not your son” I mumbled to myself through gritted teeth. Apparently, he heard.  
“Oh, i’m sorry s- Alex, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He said. Okay, so he seemed nice enough but that’s how they trick you. They get you to trust them and then they- I shuddered just thinking about when the punishment would come, why were they holding out so long?  
“Alex are you alright?” Martha asked kindly.  
“I’m fine, thank you ma’am.” I replied quietly 

I sat down at the dining room table and looked at all the food piled up in front of me. I felt sick. Did they expect me to eat all of this? If I didn’t how bad would the punishment be? I started piling food on to my plate. It wasn’t an unreasonable amount for someone normal. It’s just that, in my previous ‘homes’ I never got this much food. In fact, I would be lucky if I got any food at all. I didn’t want to eat it because maybe it was a trap. Maybe they would punish me if I ate it. But maybe they would punish me if I didn’t. I didn’t know what to do.  
“Petit Alex, ça va?” I heard Lafayette ask.  
“Oh um, yes i’m fine..” I trailed off.  
“Parlez en français avec moi, alors ils ne sauront pas ce que nous disons si cela vous fait vous sentir mieux.” He said kindly.  
“Tout va bien, rien va pas.” I lied.  
It didn’t look like he believed me but he let it go, sensing I didn’t want to talk about it.

After breakfast, I rushed back up to my bed room. I went to the desk and got my old backpack. I got my notebook and pen and starting writing a letter. To who, you may ask. I have nobody. Well I write letters to my mother. That’s right, my dead mother. It’s a little strange I know, but it’s how I cope okay?

Lafayettes POV:  
Okay, so I had a brother now. Although, something seems wrong. He screamed last night when I was just trying to help, and it didn’t look like he wanted to eat anything this morning. I wonder why he did. I’m going to go talk to maman et papa about it. Maybe they will know why.

I knock on the office door and I hear papa say for me to come in. I enter and I sit down, probably looking quite defeated.   
“Gilbert, what’s wrong?” I laugh at the name maman calls me.  
“Something is wrong with Alex.” I say bluntly.  
“What do you mean honey?” She asks sweetly.  
“Last night I was trying to help and he looked terrifié, and then this morning he didn’t want to eat. Je ne suis sûrement pas le seul à avoir remarqué.” I switched to my mother language as I do when I am getting upset.  
“Gilbert, we don’t speak french son, translate for us?” Papa says softly.  
“Oh yes sorry, I said that surely I am not the only one who noticed?” I translated for them.  
“I did notice he looked quite uncomfortable this morning, but I don’t really think he trusts me.” George said sadly.  
“It will just take time George, I had a look over his files and... he’s been in some rough places. I wouldn’t exactly be easy trusting if I had gone through what he has. We have to remember the horrors he has faced and he’s only a boy.” Martha said , tears pooling in her eyes. 

Suddenly I looked at the clock. 8:00! I have school in 30 minutes. I rushed out of the office and up to my bedroom to get dressed. I didn’t have time for a shower today which was kind of lucky as the door was locked. Heading to my room I heard crying coming from the bathroom. Just quiet little sobs. It wasn’t me, and maman et papa we’re both downstairs. That meant it was Alex!   
I knocked on the door calling out “Alex, are you okay?” I heard a sniffle and then the door unlocked, I bursted in to see him sitting on the floor.  
“Mon petit Alex, what is wrong?” I asked him.  
I knew he was obviously lying when he said nothing, but I decided to let it go, he will tell me when he’s ready.  
As I was about to leave the bathroom, I noticed red? I knelt down to get a closer look, and I saw he was clutching his arm like a lifeline. What was going on? I started getting panicked but I had to keep calm. I didn’t want a repeat of yesterday.  
“Alex, dites-moi ce qui se passe. je veux juste t’aider.” I spoke softly and calmly despite being very very scared.  
“Rien ne se passe Lafayette, partez.” He spoke through a sob.  
“Non mon ami, je me pars pas, je veux t’aider, je ne laisserai personne te blesser.” I said, really getting worried now.  
I softly grabbed his hand and started pulling it away from his other arm.  
I couldn’t control the gasp I let out when I saw his wrist. Old and new scars lined from his hand to his elbow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Petit Alex, ça va - Little Alex, are you okay?  
> Parlez en francais avec moi, alors ils ne sauront pas ce que nous disons si cela vous fait vous sentir mieux - Speak French with me, then they won't know what we're saying if it makes you feel better.  
> Tout va bien, rien va pas - Everything is fine, nothing is wrong.  
> Alex, dites-moi ce qui se passe - Alex, tell me what's going on.  
> Rien ne se passe Lafayette, partez - Nothing happens Lafayette, go.  
> non mon ami, je me pars pas, je veux t'aider, je ne laiserai personne te blesser - no my friend i'm not leaving i want to help you i won't let nobody hurt you.
> 
> Sorry if my French isnt great, I dont know like, any. Ive been using google translate.


	4. Cute? What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bathroom scene from Alex’s POV. And we meet John and Herc :)

Alex’s POV  
Oh crap, Lafayette’s knocking on the door. what do I do? what do I do? I wipe my nose on my shoulder and dry my eyes with my hands. I got up and unlocked the door and fell back down to where I was curled up on the floor, making sure to hide my arm.   
“Mon petit Alex, what is wrong?” Lafayette asked.  
“Nothings wrong, i’m fine, I promise” I answer.  
He gets up to leave but hesitates when he sees something. I follow his gaze to a drop of blood on the floor next to me. He knelt down next to me and looked at the way I was clutching my arm. Fuck. I could tell he was trying to stay calm.  
“Alex, dites-moi ce qui se passe. je veux juste t’aider.” He spoke calmly. It eased me a bit until I realised what was happening.  
“Rien ne se passe Lafayette, partez.” I said as a sob escaped my lips against my will.  
“Non mon ami, je me pars pas, je veux t’aider, je ne laisserai personne te blesser.” He said, getting noticeably worried now.  
He brought his hand to my arm and slowly pulled it away from the other.  
He gasped when he saw my arm, I looked down in shame as he saw the old and new scars lining from my hand to my elbow.   
“Alex?” I heard him say, but it was quiet, everything was.  
“Alex, come with me mon ami, I will cheer you up.” He offered reaching his hand out so I could hold it.  
“First we have to clean this up though, I would not like it to get infected.”  
I nodded sadly and he led me to the bathroom counter and got the first aid kit out of the cupboard.

Once he had cleaned my arm up and promised not to tell anyone, he led me to the lounge room upon hearing that I had never seen a Disney movie. Apparently he’s a big fan. I mean, it’s not like I ever had the chance. 

He had a very heated debate with himself over which one to watch first. He decided on Snow White, claiming it was a classic. He was tossing up between Beauty and the Beast or Snow White. The only reason he picked Snow White was because apparently he wanted me to experience Beauty and the Beast for the first time with John, as it was his favourite. Oh yeah, apparently he wanted me to meet some people.   
Once I was ready of course. Apparently they were his best friends John Laurens and Hercules Mulligan. When Lafayette mentioned Hercules or Herc as he called him, I swear I saw a sparkle in his eye that wasn’t there before, but I could have been imagining it. He didn’t acknowledge it, I don’t even know if he noticed.

Once ‘Laf’ as he had asked me to call him. “Lafayette sounds so formal mon ami, we are friends now!”  
So anyway, once Laf had gotten snacks from the kitchen, enthusiastically yelling out “FOOD!” as he sprinted there at top speed, we started the movie.  
It was pretty good, in my opinion, it was a bit boring. I decided not to tell Laf that because I thought he would get annoyed at me and I would be punished. I didn’t want to be punished. I was in a constant state of fear. They were being really nice and I knew that it would end up with me being punished eventually. I knew it would be bad because they were holding it in. Either that or they were going to make me get attached to them and then get rid of me. I was scared because it was kind of happening. I was getting attached. To Laf mainly, but also the feeling of having people you can rely on. It terrified me. 

We finished the movie and it was alright, I was mainly thinking the whole time, stuck in my own head. Thinking about my mother, my cousin, the hurricane, how fortunate and unfortunate I am at the same time.

I ended up falling asleep on Laf’s shoulder, but he didn’t seem to mind. When I woke up, I had a blanket draped over me and Laf hadn’t moved. He saw that I was awake and outstretched his arm to shake me back to reality as I was thinking a bit too hard again. As soon as he touched me, I flinched violently. I didn’t mean it obviously, just, instinct.   
“Hey mon ami, I was just about to tell you dinner is almost ready.” He said quietly, probably not wanting to scare me again. “Oh, okay, thank you.” I replied, shrugging off the blanket and stretching out my arms and back. 

When we got to the dining table, I saw a huge amount of food piled on the table again. Honestly it’s four people, how much do they eat? Well I know Laf eats a lot, and yet somehow he is skinny? I don’t get it. I was feeling slightly sick already just looking at all the food.   
“Sweetheart, are you alright?” Martha’s kind voice rang in my ears, bringing me back to the present.   
“Oh, yes ma’am, sorry.” I muttered as I took a seat.  
Everyone else started adding food to their plates and as much as I really didn’t want to, I decided to anyway. Maybe it would make the punishment worse if I didn’t eat. I added sausages, potatoes and corn to my plate and stared at it uneasily.   
“S-Alex? Is everything okay? You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to, I saw the snacks Gilbert piled up on the coffee table, you mustn’t be very hungry.” George said reassuringly. In truth, I was hungry, I hadn’t eaten any of Laf’s snacks in case he wanted to keep them for himself, but what if it was a trap? I didn’t want to eat anything, I was hungry, yes, but I had had worse.  
“Would it be okay if I went to bed early sir?” I asked timidly, afraid of the answer.  
“Of course Alex, have a good sleep, and if you need anything, just come get us.” Martha said with a soft smile. I nodded my head and walked up the stairs. 

I climbed into the bed but after about fifteen minutes of tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable, I figured out what the problem was. The bed was too comfy. Weird I know, but when you’ve never had that luxury before, it would take a while to get used to. I pulled the pillows and blanket off the bed and dumped them on the floor. I carefully climbed out of the bed, careful not to make any creaking sounds as I reached my make shit bed on the floor. I lay down and yeah, this was much better. I fell asleep in minutes, my exhaustion catching up to me.

I woke up the next morning to an unfamiliar voice drifting up from downstairs. I slowly got up, off of my place on the floor, and walked to where my bag was lying next to my desk. I gathered my notebook and pens from their place in the desk and carefully placed them into my old backpack. That new voice was probably another social worker coming to collect me and take me to a group home. 

There was a knock on the door and Lafayette’s voice carried through it.   
“Alex? If you are awake, I should let you know that I have some friends over. If you don’t want to meet them, we will stay out of your way.”  
Wait, does that mean I wasn’t getting sent away?  
I walked over to the door and unlocked it, seeing Laf’s smiling face looking right at me.  
“Good morning mon ami! I thought I might have just been talking to a door!” He said, way too energetic for this early in the morning.  
“Are you okay Alex?” He asked, his voice instantly changing to concerned.

Before I had the chance to answer, two boys appeared, coming up the stairs.   
“Oi, french fry, what are you doing up here man?”  
The taller of the boys asked Laf, before noticing me.   
“Oh, hey man, who’s this?” He asked, subtly eyeing me.  
“Ah mon ami, this is Alex, he is my, how you say, fake brother?” Lafayette said smiling softly at the tall man. Hmm.  
“Fake brother?” The guy asked.  
“Foster brother, I-I think he meant foster brother.” I said quietly.  
He had a dawning realisation set over his face.  
“Oh, Alex, right? I’m Hercules but you can just call me Herc if you want.” He said, stretching out his arm for a handshake. I hesitated, but eventually took it. He had a really firm grip.  
It was only after the handshake, that I noticed the other boy that had been standing there the whole time. He hadn’t said a word. I looked at him quizzically and Lafayette let out a very over dramatic gasp.  
“Mon petit lion, you are wondering who is he, oui?” He asked excitedly.  
“uh, I mean, yeah I-I guess.” I managed to stutter out. The boy in question was beautiful. He was shorter than the others, even shorter than me and that doesn’t happen often. He had shoulder length curls and freckles dotted his face like constellations. He was standing there shyly and hesitated before extending his arm for me to shake.   
“Mon Alex, this is John!” Laf said enthusiastically.  
“Hey man, what’s up.” John asked, a little less energetically than Laf, but he looked happy nonetheless.  
“Well, Alex, we were just about to watcha movie if you want to join us.” Herc said, putting his hand in my shoulder. At the unexpected contact, I flinched back. Violently.   
“Sorry.” I managed, though inside my head, I was still panicked.   
“Nah man, are you not a touchy guy?” Herc asked, his voice sounding too soft for his intimidating figure.  
“No, uh, it’s okay?” I said, hoping it was the right answer.  
“Okay man, so, you want to watch that movie with us?” He asked kindly.  
“uh”  
“We’ll make it fun, promise.” John said, apparently he’d gotten over his shyness rather quickly, because now he was carrying himself in a very different way. He was standing straighter, no longer fidgeting.   
I knew what ‘making it fun’ would mean, but I knew it would be worse if I disagreed, so I followed them down to the couch.

Lafayette and Hercules sat next to each other, extremely close I may add. So me and John ended up sitting next to each other, not as close to my disappointment. Wait what? Disappointment? I needed to fix whatever was happening in my head.

The movie we ended up watching was Beauty and the Beast. John’s favourite. 

It was a good movie. I wouldn’t really know though. I was captivated by none other than John. I know, weird right? But the way his eyes light up when he laughs at something. Or the way I swear those constellations moved on his face. He caught me looking a few times, but he just laughed and looked back to the movie. His nose scrunched up when he laughed. Cute. What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about that HUGE paragraph. I didn’t know where to end it :/


	5. Beauty and the Beast within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Laf, John, and Herc finish watching the movie. Shit goes Down.  
> Sorry it took a while to get out and it’s not very long. I’ve been very distracted lately

The movie ended and I quickly averted my gaze as I saw John come back to the real world. I didn’t want him to catch me staring, but honestly, how could you not stare? No. I couldn’t get attached. Bit late for that now isn’t it? I continued with the battle inside my head until Lafayette spoke up next to me.  
“Mon ami? How are you?” How soft voice rang through my ears, pulling me back to reality.  
“Oh, I’m fine Laf?” I said, it sounding more like a question.  
“Can I talk to you for a second, please?” He added, gesturing up the stairs.  
This was it.  
My heart pounding in my ears, I nodded and got up from where I had been moving close to John. Huh, how did I not realise? He probably thinks I’m a freak now. Good going, Alex.

I followed Laf up the stairs, into his bed room. I was shivering in fear as he sat down on the foot of bed and invited me to join. I reluctantly sat down next to him.   
“Mon petit lion, are you cold?” He asked kindly. God he was a good actor.  
“Uh, no, no i’m fine Laf. I- where would you like me?” I asked, feeling myself begin to tear up.  
“Pardon?”   
“Where would you like me? Clothes on or off? You can stop pretending, Laf, I know you’re going to punish me so just get it over with.”   
“Alex, why would you think that? I would never do that!” I found it so hard to not believe him. He sounded like he was telling the truth but I know people. They act. Apparently he was just really, really good at it.  
“Because that’s what everyone does. They punish over and over. I have been wondering why you guys haven’t yet, but I guess it’s just going to be worse now.” I started, mainly talking to myself.  
“Alex, I want you to stay here, or you can go to the others. I need to ask maman et papa something.”  
He said in a bit of a rush.

I decided I would wait here, I’d probably have to come back up anyway. Wait, does that mean they are going to be here for it as well? What about John and Hercules? What if it’s five against one? I’ve never had it that bad before.

Lafayette’s POV:

I headed down the stairs, two at a time. Something was seriously wrong.  
I ran past Herc and John who just sat confused on the couch. I rapped loudly on the office door and burst in without waiting for an answer.  
“Gilbert? What’s wrong honey?” Martha got up immediately and wiped under my eyes where tears had started to spill.  
“It is Alex, maman, he asked where I- where I wanted him.” I could hardly get through saying it, it made me fell sick. “He said we were all going to punish him and why it is taking so long. Maman, he needs someone right now.” I fell to my knees full on crying now.   
The fact that this fifteen year old boy had been through so much that he expects such evil is terrible. I was mildly aware of John and Herc standing in the doorway, but didn’t pay them much attention. That was, until I felt two strong arms hoist me up off the floor. Herc. He pulled me into a bone-crushing hug, not saying a word. I melted into it immediately and sobbed into his shoulder.  
He led me out to the couch with John in tow and we all sat down. He was stroking my hair now. It was amazing how quickly he could calm me down.  
I was no longer sobbing, instead silent tears were rolling down my face.  
John looked on, a look of realisation washing over his face.   
“What?” I asked curiously, as he looked at me and Herc with a soft, understanding smile on his face.  
“Nothing, dont you worry your pretty little head about it.” He said, giving my head a pat for good measure. Behind my back Herc must have made a face because John burst out cackling. However when I turned around, all I saw was Herc looking at me with soft eyes.  
“Laf, what’s wrong? I mean, we heard a bit at the door, but..” John started before Herc cut him off.  
“Of course, it’s okay if you don’t want to say, we won’t push you.”  
I needed to tell someone. I knew that. I couldn’t keep it to myself.  
“I, it’s a long story.”  
“We’re not going anywhere man” John aced a hand in my shoulder before Herc subtly tried to shove it off. Weird.  
“Well. Okay so, the other day I caught Alex, he was int he bathroom, he tried hiding it but I saw the bl-“ I felt sick again.  
“Blood?! Was he- no surely not, but maybe?” John was debating with himself.  
“Y-yes, he was, I saw him grabbing his arm, I w-was about to leave when I saw it on the floor. I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone. Oh non, qu’ai-je fait!”  
“Hey, Laf, it’s okay, you couldn’t keep that to yourself forever.” Herc was rubbing circles into my shoulder.  
“It’s okay man, we’re not going to tell anyone obviously, but, why were you crying? Was that it? Or is there more?” John asked softly, I could tell he was worried about both me and Alex.  
“S-So I went up to ask if he was okay, and he kind of- he, he asked where I wanted him. I was c-confused at first but then he said that we were going to ‘punish’ him. I- he’s only fifteen guys! He thinks that’s normal!” I said, angry crying now. Whoever did that to him was terrible.  
“Holy shit!” John whispered under his breath.

Alex’s POV: 

What was taking them so long? The anticipation and fear was killing me. I just wanted it to be done with.   
A couple of minutes of fighting myself in my head and I heard soft footsteps coming towards the door. I scooted back on the bed to show submission, I know people liked that. Instead of Laf, or even George, who I was expecting, Martha walked in. 

“Alex, honey, can we talk?” She said sweetly. Damn it.  
“I- aren’t you gonna- sure...” I replied, unsure what the right answer was.  
“Laf told us about you expecting punishment? Is that true?”  
I was perplexed. Why was she playing dumb?  
“Y-yes ma’am.” I must have looked confused because she looked at me sadly. “Alex, why do you think you would be getting punished?”   
“Because I always do. You fed me, and so I have to pay you back. That’s how the world works.” I saw her heart break at the last sentence.  
“Honey, that is not how the world works and whoever made you believe that is a horrible, horrible person. You do not need to ‘pay us back’ for anything, and we are never going to punish you like that. That is not even punishment, it’s abuse Alex. Please believe that we would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, I promise.” She spoke, and it was really hard to not believe her.   
“Stop! Stop trying to trick me because it’s not going to work, I won’t get tricked again. Just do what you need to do and leave me alone! I won’t believe it!”I screamed. Why was she dragging this out. No one else ever did, this was weird and unfamiliar. Usually people just did what they wanted and left.   
“Alex, no! I’m not going to do anything to you! Neither is anyone else! You don’t deserve any of that! We love you! You dont have to love us back, I can see it is difficult to be trusting with all you’ve gone through. But please, try to convince yourself that we are not here to hurt you! We are here to love you and give you a home and nothing else. We will only ever be good to you. You will never be abused again. Not in my house!” She ranted.  
I broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh non, qu'ai-je fait - Oh no, what have I done
> 
> Okay so I cried when I tried to upload this because I accidentally deleted the whole chapter and I needed to put something out. Butttt it turns out my big brain saved a copy which I had forgotten about so here we are.   
> :D


	6. Not a chapter, kind of an explanation?

Uh, Okay so i’m going to be perfectly honest here. I did not plan this story out beforehand. I know, rookie mistake. In my defence this is the first one i’ve ever written. What i’m saying is, it’s probably going to be really shitty quality, i’ll still try to finish it, but i may take longer to upload. Sorry. :(


	7. Uhhh... Sorry?

I doubt anyone will actually mind very much, but I think i’m going to discontinue this. It’s not very good and I have no idea where to go with the story. I didn’t think it through. Sorry :D


End file.
